Fellas, I’ve always needed to be armed, and I’m not sure what it is. Perhaps past traumas, perhaps epigenetic traits. My normal weapon choice is a knife or pepper spray, and I’ll still carry pepper spray.

I like to think epigenetic traits in some way. That’s my favorite theory. I can remember as a kid my mom choosing to sleep armed with a bat and even barricaded in our room, with a dresser against the door if my dad was out of town. We lived in a nice neighborhood, on a cul de sac. It wasn’t a high crime area, but this is just bred into us.

My ancestors lived in frontier New Mexico and lived for centuries under the threat of Indian raids. Prior to that my ancestors fought against other Spanish factions and the Moors. Essentially my entire maternal ancestry comes from Spaniards that had been at war of some kind of conflict for somewhere between 2,200 and 1,300 years. This period of conflict for my Basque ancestors even extends into the pre-roman era.

Putting my gun on, I really do, and yes I know others may not feel this way, feel a deep sense of relief. It’s like this small but loud part of my brain quiets down.

I’m not afraid of being attacked necessarily, it’s more as if a necessary capability for self defense is missing when I am unarmed. It’s like a phantom limb. Psychologically my mind expects a weapon to be part of my body.

Many people who edc have the rule, pants on, gun on. That’s going to be my rule as well. I’ve got it loaded with Speer Gold Dots 124g Short Barrel +P.

My favorite things about this gun, fits in a pocket, reliable, eats everything, pretty much the lightest sub compact 9mm you can get that holds 10 rounds.