I’ve noticed it with men but maybe women do it too. I’ve noticed men will tell their wives to not be so loud or to calm down, to not be so much of themselves. When men do this I think it’s out of fear she might attract attention or that she is uncontrolled.

When men do this, women don’t transform into whoever we want them to be, they become repressed versions of themselves (if they comply at all), and will form resentment. That resentment will build for decades before she finally snaps, and quits suppressing herself, and all that time she was not growing herself in a healthy environment.

If you give your wife acceptance and support and let her be herself, and show her how to be a healthier version of herself by being a healthier version of yourself first, she’ll grow with you and probably stay with you.